Here I sit, staring at a blank canvas. I want to have a little fun telling stories. I want to amuse, to entertain, maybe even to inform, but I can’t do it, not today.
I went to a very dark place.
The problem is that today, I went to a very dark place. Okay, it was less of a case of I went to a dark place, and more of I got taken to a dark place. Basically, my depression leapt out of his cave, grabbed ahold of me, and dragged me back in with him. Once he got me in there, he pantsed me, body slammed me, did a couple of atomic power elbows, and then, to add insult to injury, sat on my head and farted.
I made a video about doing what builds you up vs doing what tears you down. I made that video in the spirit of optimism, that I could choose to uplift myself, rather than pull myself down. Sadly, I wasn’t able to make the choice today, as I was ambushed by exhaustion, conflict and failure.
Basically the day sucked. I spent far too much of it processing my depression. I spent more of it processing the problems that brought on my depression.
This means that I didn’t get in a walk, I didn’t get the minor home repair done that needed doing. I barely ate all day. All I could do was to muddle through the work day, keep up with some basic to do list things, and clean the kitchen.
At least there was a relatively entertaining hockey game on this evening. So there’s that.
I guess what I’m saying is that, today I was the ant.