Change is Hard, Deep Desire isn’t Enough. So What? Nothing Worth Having is Easy

We want the best for our kids. We spend our time, money and energy with one, single purpose; raise functioning adults to release into the wild.

That’s it, parenthood in a single sentence:

Parenting is the act of raising functional adults to release into the wild.


We want them to have the best, to have a better life than we did. We want them to repeat our victories, and avoid our mistakes. We talk, we argue, we persuade, we cajole, all in an effort to make their paths easier, their destinations better.

The problem lies in the word, “talk.” When our actions don’t align with our words, our children follow our actions, because:

Children have a highly accurate, built-in bullshit detector,

Ten years ago I was watching kid two brush his teeth, and there he stood, hunched over the sink. I had told him a million times, “Stand up straight,” but he slouched.

Because I slouched. I slouched through the first four decades of my life (which included the first four years of his). He never saw me stand up straight, so he followed my example, not my words.

My parents told me, “Andrew, stand up straight,” but I never did.

Why not?

Because they never did. So I didn’t, and as a result of chronic slouching I have serious back issues. Back issues I don’t my kids to suffer.

Being a good father, I want my boys to have something better, including better posture.

Words didn’t work, so I made a change, and in my mid-forties, learned proper posture.

Easy, right?

I wanted something, so I went out and got it.

Yah, nozzo fast, brudder.

Correcting my posture took literally years. I had to learn whole new skills, mindsets, exercises, and more. I had to break old habits and create new ones.

Ten years later, my posture is much better, but I still catch myself slouching, from time to time.

Because change is hard, and desire isn’t enough.