I’ve had a little fun at the expense of Premier Doug “Jellyfish” Ford. Okay, I’ve had a LOT of fun at the expense of Premier Doug “Fat Fascist Fuckwit” Ford. Hell, I even signed the change.org petition, Fire Doug Ford.
But things are getting stupid. The truckers’ convoy having (apparently) scared him almost as badly as Prime Minstrel Blackface, Premier Flatfish is now on a media tour to try and shore up support among the populace he’s spent the last two years abusing.
Why, just this morning Premier Jellyfish had an interview with Hamilton’s am 900 CHML radio station. Notable comments, he:
- can’t stand provincial lockdowns just as much as the next person
- felt as though he’s been stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to making pandemic-related decisions like bringing in lockdowns
- always sided on the side of caution
- feels for the Ottawa businesses that have been negatively impacted by the protests on Parliament Hill because they’ve been unable to safely reopen
- says he’s not willing to enter the federal arena of politics if the opportunity presents itself. At least, not yet
- “…love(s) my job as premier, I love the people of Ontario and we still have a lot of work to do and move forward and get our economy booming.”
Hoo boy howdy. Let’s take them in order.
Can’t stand lockdowns?
- THEN STOP FUCKING IMPLEMENTING THEM YOU FAT TUB OF SHIT.
- Seriously, ol’ Premier “lockdown first, lockdown hard, no mercy” doesn’t like lockdowns? Piss off, asshole, we can see you.
Felt stuck between a rock an a hard place about lockdowns.
- STOP WHINING, YOU PRICK, AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB
- Your job is to lead, not to whine about how hard it is to lead. Of course, it probably is hard to lead when (a) you’re a coward and (b) you are 100% lacking in backbone.
Always sided with caution
- COWARDICE IS NOT A VIRTUE, DIPSHIT.
- “Who dares, wins.” Motto of the British SAS, and very much not in Premier Flatworms vocabulary.
Feels for the Ottawa business unable to reopen because of the protests.
- AND WHY ARE THEY CLOSED, ASSHOLE? COULD IT BE BECAUSE OF YOUR OVERCAUTIOUS, COWARDLY LOCKDOWNS? HMMM?
- I can’t even, with this vile sonofabitch. “I closed you down, and I feel your pain at it being hard to reopen.” Seriously, Doug, fuck off.
Isn’t willing to enter federal politics at this time.
- I HAVE AN IDEA, HOW ABOUT NEVER, SHITBIRD? HOW ABOUT YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF ALL POLITICS AND LEAVE IT TO PEOPLE WITH BRAINS AND A VERTEBRAL COLUMN
- The federal conservatives just rid themselves of one invertebrate leader, they are not advertising for another.
Loves being Premier and wants to move forward and get the economy booming.
- WELL, WE DON’T LOVE THE JOB YOU’RE DOING, FUCKFACE, AND HOW IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK ARE WE GET THE ECONOMY BOOMING WITH SOME MENTAL DEFECTIVE CONSTANTLY LOCKING THE FUCKING PROVINCE DOWN?
- Not to mention, excluding 10% of the province from actually participating in the economy as it opens. Seriously, Doug, fuck off.
We get the leaders we deserve, we genuinely do. 15 years of misrule by the most corrupt government this province has ever seen, and this is the best alternative we could come up with?
We’re fucked.
Go Truckers.
