Hey There Bossy, How About Sharing That Cud? Chewing Gum is NOT For Sugar Cravings

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Years ago a news story came out of Singapore about an American teenager who got caught tagging cars. He was sentenced to a caning; six lashes, IIRC.

The bent of the stories was, “Oh this poor boy, oh this benighted, uncivilized country that’s going to beat him for graffiti.”

My reaction was, “Well, good. Bet he never does that again.”

Sadly, upon appeal, given the negative news coverage, his sentence was reduced to two lashes. While he got off easy, I’m still willing to bet the end result was he either (1) never went back to Singapore, or (2) never tagged another car in Singapore.

In either case, it’s a win for Singapore.

The publicity surrounding this case brought to light a wealth of information about Singapore, such as; chewing gum was illegal.

I got to thinking about this when I was reading “7 Foods to Eat When You’re Craving Sugar.” Number 4 is chewing gum, and they made this recommendation based on “some evidence.”

First, you don’t “eat” chewing gum, you “chew” chewing gum and the first thing you’re taught is to never swallow your gum. So you’re not eating it.

Second, the Singaporeans had the right idea, especially if the punishment had been 6 lashes.

Chewing gum is:

  • vile
  • disgusting
  • gross
  • revolting
  • nasty
  • repulsive and
  • generally horrid in all ways, general and specific.

No one should ever chew gum, under any circumstance, whatsoever. Unless you want to be mistaken for an ungulate.

Hey there bossy, how about sharing that cud?

Moo, I’m going stand here like a slack jawed idiot, working my cud.

Gum is sexy…Mooooooo.

What a great idea.

Sadly, Singapore gave up this trapping of genuine civilization to allow nicotine gum, if prescribed by a doctor. Thin end of the wedge, if you ask me. And a serious health website offered the advice to “eat” it, on the basis of weak evidence, to control sugar cravings.

Better you should get fat and have rotten teeth.


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