After All, You’re Only Human

I’ve been spotty in my writing for the last little while. I told you about losing a chunk of May and June to a terrible chest cold, combined with a really nasty sinus infection. Well, when I finally got over all that, started getting back into regular writing I got hit with a very busy month at work, and another go around with my chest and sinuses.

This is new territory for me, I don’t often get sick, and when I do I generally get over it pretty quickly. For me to lose the best part of 2 months to infections that not only wouldn’t go away, but once I finally rid myself of them came back almost immediately is unheard of. That is, in fact, one of the great benefits of the healthy lifestyle I advocate; improved immune system response.

The problem is, I wasn’t getting over it. And because I was sick, my energy was low, so I wasn’t exercising enough. And because I wasn’t exercising enough I wasn’t:

  • Eating enough
  • Eating right
  • Sleeping well
  • Destressing myself

In short, I was trapped in the vicious cycle of an unhealthy lifestyle.

Fortunately for me, working out isn’t just something I do, it’s a cornerstone. When I’m not exercising regularly I feel lousy, and because it’s so much a part of my life I am (eventually) compelled to return to the gym. Seriously, I get an itch to get out there and sweat, and strain, and push my body. I don’t want to, I have to.

So (eventually) I did. And while it sucked as badly as you may have suspected, I will not treat you (today) to another version of “Paying the Iron Price.” My return to yoga and Pilates sucked as bad as you might expect, and the recovery was as tough as you might expect, but I did it.

And on the way home from my first class back a strange thing occurred; my stomach started growling. My appetite returned, I had a good dinner, and the first decent night’s sleep in weeks. The vicious cycle was broken, I began to feel better. I went again the next night (to a double, hot Pilates followed by hot yoga, so help me) and it sucked even worse, but I’m back.

Still, I was guilty. I enjoy writing, and I was getting some ribbing about, “where’s that StandUpRight guy?”

A funny thing about creating content. When you’re doing it, it’s easy. When you’re not, it’s hard. When I’m posting daily, I can get an idea and write something quickly. When I fall down the rabbit hole, it’s hard. And feeling guilty about not creating makes it harder. So I don’t create, don’t write, don’t publish, and feel guiltier. And it gets harder.

And around and around another vicious cycle we go.

But then I took a few days off to take the kids to the beach. I packed my computer with full intention of getting back on the horse, and getting content out there again. I was gonna kick myself in the butt, pull myself up by my bootstraps, suck it up, get over it and just do it. Apparently what I was going to do was cliché my way back.

Anyway, we got to the cottage, and…there was no internet.


As so often happens for me, this setback turned out to be a blessing. True, I had no internet, but neither did my kids. And we spent the weekend playing together, reading together, being together, enjoying each other. I live the life I do, in great measure, for them and sometimes I get so focussed on the process I forget the purpose. An extra long weekend, with zero screen time, reminded me of what is truly important.

And then, BANG, epiphany time.

Somewhere along the way I told you that in your efforts to start a new, healthier lifestyle, you’d fail. You’d fall down; miss workouts, cheat on your diet, screw up your sleep, whatever, and I told you to forgive yourself. Great advice, and my epiphany was, “Hey, I can do that too.”

So even when I got internet back, I didn’t throw myself back into writing. I was taking time to spend with my family, and that’s what I did. But I made myself promise that, after the long weekend, I’d go right back at it.

And here we are.