Today I had an epiphany.
I’ve started Mike Kim’s You Are the Brand course and working through my origin story. I thought I had it pretty well laid out when I watched a one on one coaching session. The guy he was working with went deeper and had a revelation.
Inspired, I went back to my origin story, tweaked a couple of things and went to one of the key turning points, February 12, 2023, the day I died.
No, I didn’t really die, I removed myself from this life. I decided to die, and planned, and mapped out the entire process, which ended with my boys coming home from school to find me.
I realized I couldn’t do this to them, scar them with this, but it was too late. I was too far gone, with no way back. I was simply too weak to win that battle.
For two years I have wondered, how it is that I came back? How did I win that battle? I know I lacked the strength to win it myself.
Today I figured it out.
I didn’t win. I didn’t come back from over the edge.
My children pulled me back.
I am alive today, not because I had the strength, but because they had the strength. When I realized this I locked up. I froze, my mind numbed with the enormity of it all.
Then I broke down and cried from the gut wrenching, soul searing pain of the memories, and the revelation.
I’ve always known it was my boys that got me out, that I owe them my very life, but I didn’t realize how it happened.
Today it hit me.
Their love for me is the strength I need.