A Change is a Rebirth, and There is No Birth Without Pain

Today I had an epiphany.

I’ve started Mike Kim’s You Are the Brand course and working through my origin story. I thought I had it pretty well laid out when I watched a one on one coaching session.  The guy he was working with went deeper and had a revelation.

Inspired, I went back to my origin story, tweaked a couple of things and went to one of the key turning points, February 12, 2023, the day I died.

No, I didn’t really die, I removed myself from this life. I decided to die, and planned, and mapped out the entire process, which ended with my boys coming home from school to find me.

I realized I couldn’t do this to them, scar them with this, but it was too late. I was too far gone, with no way back. I was simply too weak to win that battle.

For two years I have wondered, how it is that I came back? How did I win that battle? I know I lacked the strength to win it myself.

Today I figured it out.

I didn’t win. I didn’t come back from over the edge.

My children pulled me back.

I am alive today, not because I had the strength, but because they had the strength. When I realized this I locked up. I froze, my mind numbed with the enormity of it all.

Then I broke down and cried from the gut wrenching, soul searing pain of the memories, and the revelation.

I’ve always known it was my boys that got me out, that I owe them my very life, but I didn’t realize how it happened.

Today it hit me.

Their love for me is the strength I need.