Yesterday I wrote that, no matter how well I think things are going, the depression is never far away. No matter how good my mood, no matter how good a day I might have had, or be having, I can feel the demon lurking in the background.
It happened Sunday and yesterday. I had a wonderful day with my kids Sunday, and then took yesterday off to get a bit of my backlog of annoying shit seen to. The problem is that my backlog of annoying shit is very large, and there’s simply no way I can get it done in one day.
This is compounded with a look through financial statements, and the realization that inflation and teenaged appetites are real things. No matter how much I make, money is always tight, and my offramp to a better future that much harder to build.
It gets me down.
Then the boys get home from school, and kid 3 says, “You want to throw a ball?”
Oh, hells yes.
Then wifey gets home from work, and we chat for a bit about our days, giving me time to review not how much I have left to do, but how much I’ve actually gotten done.
Time is of little value to me; I often find I’m simply waiting for the end, but though I find time is of little value, I find that moments are precious. It’s these moments with my wife, and my boys, that help push back the darkness. That help me recover when the depression hits.
So, while the depression is never far away, sometimes I find that the recovery is a little closer than I expect.