The Depression is Never Far Away…

I just spent a fantastic day with my boys. In what is becoming a Father’s Day tradition, I woke up to the smell of kid 2 baking peanut butter cookies, kid 3 made me a cute Father’s Day card, very personalized to us, and kid 1 cooked me a lovely bacon and eggs breakfast.

I spent the day hanging out and playing with the boys from wake up until bed time. In short, I spent Sunday on top of the world.

Today, we’re back to normal; school, work, chores, etc. I’m taking a couple of days off to use up vacation time before I lose it, and I have a list of crap far too long for a mere two days.

I look at the extent of the list, and I know I can’t get it all done. I’m already planning for failure, and feeling the tug of depression because of impending failure. Simply put, the depression is never far away.

That’s why I’m spending so much time on mindset. Combining a mindset shift with the buildup of healthy habits means that at bedtime I can look back on a list of accomplishments to compare to the inevitable list of failures. I can counter the demon’s arguments of failure, with the angel’s list of victories.

No matter how good I feel, I am regularly reminded that the best I can hope for is to manage my depression, not to cure it.

Because, no matter how good it gets, the depression is never far away.