Lately I’ve been spending time working on my depression. A lot of time, as it happens, but I haven’t been doing it here.
About a month ago I created a YouTube channel, which you can find here, and over the last few weeks, instead of writing, I’ve been concentrating on video.
It’s an interesting challenge, learning to create in a new medium. I had originally thought to create a podcast because (as you can see in the videos) I have a face for radio. Fortunately, over years of on the job training to be an instructor, I don’t have a voice for silent movies.
Have you ever heard a recording of yourself?
Most people react poorly to hearing themselves on a recording, at least the first time. Reactions are usually either “Who is that?” or “I hate my voice.”
I remember the first time I heard my voice on tape (yes, I’m that old) and I hated it. But down the years I became first a physics tutor, then karate teacher, a CAD instructor (that’s Computer Aided Design), an engineering professor (just an adjunct, nothing fancy) and an English Second Language teacher.
All the time I was doing those things, I encountered people who asked if I was an actor, or in radio, or an announcer of some sort. Apparently, they didn’t hate the sound of my voice, but I always remembered that grade 6 performance of The Invisible Man I did (I played the invisible man). We recorded it, and boy how I hated hearing my own voice.
Add in that I’m an intensely private man, and I didn’t want to put my face on the internet for all to see. I’m a family man, I’ve got three kids. Did I really want to give up that privacy? No.
So, long story short, I was REALLY reluctant to start making videos.
But along came my mental health crisis. All the traction I was getting on my little blog evaporated as I didn’t post for months. All the progress I was making in starting up my little side business, gone.
I had to start again, and I decided to begin again at the beginning.
- new topic
- new medium
- new openness
So, that’s where I’ve been…over on YouTube. Why don’t you join me?
Don’t worry, I’m not abandoning this place, I’m just expanding my playground a little.