Having learned that I not only suffer depression, but ADHD was revealing.
- ADHD leads to failure,
- failure leads to depression,
- depression sucks the energy out,
- lack of energy lead to lack of focus, lack of focus means the ADHD, “Look, squirrel,” comes into play, and…
- ADHD leads to failure.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
When I learned that exercise and meditation controlled my depression, I leaned back into exercise. Now that I know the ADHD leads to depression, I have another idea for taking control over my mental health, i.e., learning to control my ADHD.
As with my depression, there is simply no way I’m taking chemicals, prescription drugs, for ADHD. I am who I am, and I will be who I will be and I will not be altered by drugs.
For me, transformation is a conscious choice and I will learn to control it. When I was trying to control my depression, I only had half the story, adding ADHD (hopefully) gives me the full picture.
Enter small disciplines.
In the past I have tried implementing too much change, too fast, and eventually crashed. This year I’ve been building up a list of daily tasks aimed to the end of achieving lifetime goals.
The problem of ADHD is the inability to focus on boring things, and get them done. That’s what leads to the sense of failure and the spiral.
Now, I do the smallest task:
- applying the tiniest discipline leads to success
- success leads to happiness
- happiness increases energy
- increased energy increases focus
- increased focus allows me to apply an incremental (1%) increase to the task
Combining this with the improvement in self discipline through practice, I’m gaining a measure of control over my ADHD, and through that, control over my mental health.