Last time I gave you the first two secrets of staying thin; hit the genetic lottery and cook your own damned dinner.
Now, being a giver, Imma drop another pearl of wisdom on you, another secret to maintaining a lean physique. Are you ready? Here it comes.
Get off the goddamned couch and move.
Earth shattering, isn’t it? But you know what, all the fad diets and all the workout crazes, what are they really telling you? Let’s dig in.
First every fad diet; atkins, keto, Mediterranean diet, Icelandic diet, South Beach, whatever, what do they all have in common? Cookbooks. And what is the underlying assumption of a cookbook? Buy your own ingredients and cook your own damned dinner.
Every. Single. Cookbook. Ever.
And PX 90, or whatever it’s called, yoga, hot yoga, cross training, HIIT, Pilates, Hot Pilates, Zoomba, whatever, what do they all require you to do? Turn off the TV, get up off the goddamned couch and move.
Every. Single. One.
As I mentioned before, they differ in the details, and Lord yes, the devil is in the details. But in basic concept it’s all the same.
Stop eating crap, make your own dinner, and get your ass moving.
Don’t think these principles work? Lemme tell you a story from back in the days when life wasn’t so good for me. Unemployed, stressed out, fighting with my wife, being a dumpster fire of a father. You know what I did, a lot?
I ate crap. I sat around feeling sorry for myself eating doughnuts and snacky cakes. (I’m looking at you Vachon)
And while I never got outright fat, I did pick up a little around the middle, enough that my 32” waist pants began to get tight.
I got as sluggish as I’ve ever been. I played a couple games of hockey each week, but I certainly wasn’t working out. So I got as out of shape as I’ve ever been and I lost muscle tone.
See, the genetic lottery can only do so much for you if you’re determined to wallow in self pity and misery, and slowly destroy yourself. Fortunately, my wife and I discovered a regular Bikram Yoga practice, which gave us a pathway to fix a whole lot of problems. But for the weight gain? It got me moving again. And when I got up off the damned couch and started moving again, the weight melted back off.