There’s an old joke about overnight success that goes something like, “After 10 years of hard work, I finally became an overnight success,” and I wonder if there’s something like that happening to me right now.
I’ve been slugging away at transformation through small disciplines for about six months.
And I’ve been working through my issues in therapy for about 16 months.
And I’ve been trying to fix myself for the sake of my family for 2-1/2 years now.
It was only two weeks ago that I determined to add writing a letter of affirmation to myself, as the first thing I do each morning, even before coffee, and after only two weeks, I’m noticing changes.
I still feel the despair, the depression tugging at me. I do not think I’m cured.
But.
But, for the first time in living memory I feel like I’m a bit better able to fight the demon. When I feel the despair, instead of letting it take hold, and lock me down, I’ve been able to keep moving. Keep struggling. Keep doing.
It is the keeping doing that is key. When I get locked down, it’s self reinforcing. The depression keeps me from doing, the not doing means failure, and the failure leads to depression.
Breaking that one link, the keeping doing, prevents the depression from taking hold.
The latest big change is that daily letter, and it just feels as if something shifted. As if I reached a new level.
Is two weeks too soon to tell?
Probably.
But for the first time, in a looooong time, I feel…optimistic.
